I am a big fan of Simple Plan (thus, this entry is, of course, written with a fun tone, filled with love), but even I can admit that some of their songs are quite… similar lyric-wise. That’s fine, I guess– why mess with a good thing?

Today at work, I tried to write my own Simple Plan song, in my head (I am so productive!). I think I’ve pretty much got the formula down, so I thought I would share.

Steps on creating your own Simple Plan song:

  1. Establish the setting. It should be dark and broody, and you should probably be alone. Preferably near a telephone, either waiting for a call or psyching yourself up to make a call. “Alone,” and “phone,” rhyme, so feel free to use those words as often as you want!
  2. Pick someone in your life, and decide which category they fall under: a) Someone you love, and want to be with. b) Someone you hate, and want out of your life, or c) Someone who just doesn’t understand you.
  3. Step 3 is a little tricky, because it depends on which option you chose in Step 2. If you chose a) you should write a sentence about running away with the person you love. It should include a sentiment along the lines of “take my hand…” The line “take my hand,” is a SP favourite! Use it as often as you use “alone,” and “phone!” If you chose b) you should come up with some sort of scathing line about how the other person is awful. And how they ruin your life. And for an option c) person, I would go for a question. Something like “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!”
  4. Step 4 is find 2 other ways to say the above sentence you wrote. Let’s really drive the point home. For example, after “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?” your next line may be “I don’t understand why you don’t understand me!” See? Same idea. Different wording. Powerful song.
  5. Finally, create a catchy chorus. I don’t know exactly how to do this, but I’m sure you can come up with something! You’re all so creative!

There you have it — you’re now Internationally Recognized Canadian Popstars!!

And so am I! Here’s what I came up with:

I’m starin at my cell phone

It’s dark and I’m all alone

Let’s run away from this place

Take my hand, nowwwwww.

We’ll go live and be happy.

[Chorus]

Nananananaaaa!!!

We’ll be happy, eating bananassss!!

See? Wasn’t that amazing? And it completely embodied the Simple Plan way! I wouldn’t be surprised if Pierre came knocking at my door, begging to do a collaboration!