I am a big fan of independent film. I am a big fan of oddity and perversion. I love films that are kinky. It may seem a bit odd for me to admit to this on my blog, which is undoubtedly public, and easily found by family members, but NEWS FLASH: I am 20 years old!

Currently, Canadian film makers are able to apply for a few different grants and tax credits to encourage Canadian media, art and expression. However, soon, this may change thanks to an amendment regarding Bill C-10 (the Income Tax Act), which has recently been introduced by the Conservative MPs. The change, which is currently being reviewed in the Senate, would see that tax credits be denied for projects deemed “offencive,” by the Conservatives. One of these films, (I’m about to use a bad word) is the Toronto Film Festival screened (here it comes…), Young People Fucking. (Okay, I said it. Relax.) I’m sure you can imagine what said film is about, and why it may be facing Conservative scrutiny.

But is threatening film makers in this way not censorship? And is censorship not against our constitutional rights?

That is what quite a few people and panels are trying to get to the bottom of. I haven’t had a chance to see this film yet, though I would like to, but I have researched it a bit, and formed a few opinions. Just because a film has an expletive in the title that provokes graphic imagery, does not mean that it is pornographic. Sex is a dominant theme, but used to portray human relationships and interactions. During a screening for MPs in Ottawa, all of which were opposition members (Liberals, NDPs, etc.) many praised the film as a “social reality check,” and a “serious explanation of relationships,” while being “funny and fun.”

These are the most important films to see, in my opinion. And it would be a shame to miss out on such a major insight because of something as silly as censorship. Censorship is common in many countries, but it shouldn’t be here. It also is dreadfully unfair to Canada’s budding and blooming film makers, most of whom probably aren’t elderly Conservative Parliament members, and therefore hold different values, and voices that don’t deserve to be silenced this early in the game! We need to fight for our art, our expression, our relationships. Sex is a big part of our society, and what are films but a fingerprint of our world?

What do you think of the censorship of such films? Do you think the measures of the Bill C-10 amendment are just and necessary? Is sex really that taboo of a subject in our lives?

This entry comes from a comment the lovely Lil left on last week’s post regarding my new layout.

The doodle at the bottom is so cute! Say how do you come up with these colour schemes? I’m rather taken by them. Do you have a colour lovers account? I urge you to make one

It’s actually very simple.

I go to my closet.

Essentially, everything in my closet are colours, textures and fabrics that I enjoy. And what is my website but my online “clothing,” ? So, when I’m stuck for colour ideas, I find a favourite outfit and pull the colours from that. Whenever someone asks me advice on a colour, I find an article of clothing similar to their base colour, and move from my closet, to my dresser, to my jewellery box, etc., until I find a suitable accent to suggest. If someone has absolutely no idea of what colours they want to use, I suggest their closet. It really just makes sense.

For example, my current layout was inspired by my plaid capris that my good friend Joelle bought from the thrift store in La Pocatiere, Quebec. One slightly chilly night, she let me borrow them (for I am an avid skirt-wearer, and in the summer I am virtually unaware of the location of jeans). We were in billeting, so we had no access to our house, and I ended up wearing them for most of the two weeks! Finally, Joelle told me I could keep them. They’re terribly comfortable, and I love love LOVE plaid. SO MUCH. So, last week, when I was looking for some colours for a new layout for this thing, I happened to be wearing these capris. So, I took a shot of my leg and the rest is history!

No, I’m not really here to dispense advice on this subject. Because, truth is, I can be difficult, especially when I am negative. And I know it makes people angry. I know when I have some sort of “episode,” it makes people frustrated. I know that what people tell me to cheer me up isn’t necessarily going to have a long term effect, because I know that true happiness comes from within.

Still, it doesn’t help me to have a friend sluff me off because of a particular negative moment. Especially because, as I said, I know what’s going on. And I am trying to fix it. But, sometimes I need help.

It is common among negative people like myself to try to fight the good points my friends throw at me during a difficult time. A “don’t be silly, of course you’re not annoying,” may cause me to list reasons why I actually am annoying. I know it’s stupid, but please don’t let me get the last word. Tell me that I’m not annoying, that I make your day sunshine-filled, that you would give anything to make me feel better. It may not seem like I’m taking it to heart at that very moment, but trust me, I am. And later, once I’ve settled down, I will replay the nice things you said to me, and it will make me feel better, it will make me feel loved, and my next panic attack will be less painful.

Please don’t be angry with me when I’m being stupid. Please remember the last time you were upset, and I told you you were the most beautiful and lovable person on the planet. And remember that just because I may be a miserable snot during that moment, doesn’t mean I’m a miserable snot in general. I may have just spent the last few days being strong for others, and it finally all caught up.

Like I said, I know that happiness comes from within. But, you are in my heart. You are my happiness. And we all need help sometimes, to get things back into perspective.